KillDatPoo

No, that is not the name of some insane Asian madman bent on oppressing his country through starvation. It isn't the name of a new rock band that pumps out three hit rock songs and then hits you with a slow ballad about high school days. It isn't the screen name of some 1337 haxor who has pirated any and all available forms of media and created a virus for anyone else who tries to download it. It also is not the name of a fancy new fuel saving hybrid vehicle that runs on dung.

KillDatPoo is more a state of mind. It takes a special breed. Someone willing to go beyond the norm. Someone that isn't afraid to get their hands dirty. A person ready to take on the hard tasks that others so easily let pass by. Can you handle it? Do you feel the power under the surface? Is that darkened corner in your life seeing the light? Is KillDatPoo in you? We shall see!

So what is it all about? Lemme splain to you as best as I can. KillDatPoo is what you do when your sewer backs up in your basement. If you don't kill it, it will kill you. It will creep up the stairs in the night and smoother you with your own pillow and leave a brown crusty residue all over the place for your family to clean up after you are dead.

This is where the old feces tried to make its escape. Delicious, I know. It really doesn't look so bad from this picture but it really isn't all that pretty. It all started last year around April. The sewer started to back up and flood a little of the surrounding area in the basement. Not too bad but enough to let you know it was doing it. So I did what any decent human being would do. I tried to ignore it and hope it would go away so that I didn't have to spend money on it. That didn't seem to work so I first tried to buy a cheapo "snake." Basically just a long thin piece of metal with a plastic spear type tip on the end. Jabbing and stabbing and trying to destroy the stagnant and lodged poo was something that wasn't going to be achieved with this fine piece of equipment. So I hired a plumber for $75 and had him auger my main lateral drain. It worked great. The waters went down and the poo pipe was cleared of clogs......at least for a little while.

Enter April 2006. The Wrath of Dook: Dook with a Vengeance. It happened again. Like clockwork. Spring begins and so does the clogging of the money draining stench tube. Little did the pipe know...I was prepared to do battle myself.

Here is the sword that slayed the beast. The mother of all poo punchers. The Electric Eel: Sewer and Drain Cleaning Machine. Note the label telling us about its exclusive Dual Drive. Wow. Driving the funk back with twice the punch. Most impressive, indeed. I rented this baby for half the price it would have costed me to call the plumber out again. The only drawback is that you have to do the work yourself, which if you are me isn't a big deal since I love this stuff. No really, I do.

I knew from the moment that I picked this machine up at the rental store, I was in love. Its red wheels, yellow extension cord and blue paint really captured my heart. It came with the option of 100 ft of cable or 60ft (which can be seen in the background.) I chose 60ft and hoped that it would be enough. It was. While loading the auger into my car I notice how well the cables smelled. Delicious remnants of the previous encounter with someones stash of nuggets hightened my olfactory awareness. I could hardly wait to put this in my car. It all fit into my trunk with slight persuasion. All set and off to the crash sight I went, pumped, primed and ready to destroy.

Here is the insertion point for the cables. Attach one to the auger and then attach the cables to each other as you go until you run out. The machine goes in forward and reverse so there is plenty of running around to do. The basic idea is to turn on running water and run this beast through until you break the clog free and the water goes back down to normal. Gloves are your friend while using a machine like this.

Spring is here and love is in the air. Here I am falling in love with my new friend. Big hugs for the turd crusher. The bond between man and machine has never been more fully understood than by those who use the machine to clean out recycled food products from a pipe. I am sure that this will be a yearly event full of action packed nugget destruction. When that day arrives I will be ready, for I am now known as Poo Slayer.

POO ROCK OPERA!!!!












Picking my nose with one of the bits that attach to the cables. Lobster claws!










Surfing on the Electric Eel.