Wiind

So after two separate attempts to find and purchase a Nintendo Wii I have become successful. Searching the Al Gore invented internet has its perks if you know how to use it right. After searching and listening to rumors and speculation I walked out of Target in the early morning hours with Nintendo Wii in hand. ( I refuse to call it only Wii in sentences like the previous one. Why Nintendo, why?)

Anyway, it is good fun. The main attraction is the motion sensing control scheme. Baseball has you holding the remote like a bat. Bowling has you mimic the actions of actually bowling and so on... Certain games make you do more moving than the usual game but thats part of the fun. Now you can tell people that it's not just mindless gaming but good exercise too!

So I took my Wii over to my friends house last weekend to show them and play some games. They are a married couple with two young children. I wound up playing against a 9 year old most of the night in various sports games. He seemed to enjoy the baseball game the most so we played plenty of it.

My friend and his wife were both sitting behind me on the couch watching us play, maybe 3 feet away or so. So I'm up to bat and doing my batting thing. I get the pitch and go to swing and as I do a fart comes flying out from my bowels. It was an unexpected addition to the game. Usually I'm the one in control of my flatulence. I can't think of any other time where I was playing a game where I was forced into dropping a bomb without my full knowledge. Thanks a lot Nintendo. Now I'm losing control of my body. Maybe I should sue for mental anguish!

Magic plant

Way back when in another time, in another land, lived a young man. This young man had an older brother who introduced him to a product that grew from the ground up. This product was considered a plant. It was an interesting type of plant. Somewhere along the way in time someone decided to put this plant, in dry form, into a smoking device and inhale it. After discovering this method and the after affects, the plant became very popular. After the young man had sampled the plant in it's inhaled form he decided to seek it out on a regular basis. As with any other fine product in the world, it came with a price. But price isn't as important as finding the magic plant that takes you far, far away to distant lands. Oh yes, magic plant was all that young man desired in life. Magic plant was always hanging around in young mans room, waiting to be inhaled. Magic plant would make young man feel as though he was plowing through layers of the Earths core when he would lay upon the ground, digging down even to China perhaps. That's what magic plant did. Magic plant would make young man feel as though he was crunching on boulders when he would eat delicious cookies. Magic plant even made young mans feet feel like heavy bricks right before he would get on the bus to go to school. Magic plant would make things scary though too. If certain men in uniforms caught you with magic plant in a bag, you would get in trouble. If magic plant was found in your system by the uniformed men, you may have gotten in trouble as well. Certain people made enemies with magic plant.

Some say that Magic plant is not addictive. True. Magic plant isn't so much physically addictive as it is mentally addictive. But if someone who loved magic plant ran out, there were problems. There is a saying "a day without wine is like a day without sunshine." Well some people would say the same about magic plant. Magic plant had it's own way of possessing you and not letting you go easily. So what is the name of this magic plant you ask? Let me tell you. It's common name is...daisy.

Really though. I just remembered a product that my brother, friend, and myself purchased at the store one time when we had no Juan and were desperate for some smoke. It was called Ultra Wizard Smoke. We bought it at a bong shop. It looked just like weed...and we were desperate remember? It didn't get us high! Forget that man! It's funny how people let things control them so much that they seek out alternatives when they can't have the real deal. Can't afford name brand cigarettes? Here, buy this brand called GPC. Generic Pieces of Crap. If I remember correctly, we may have even tried to smoke rose petals when we didn't have the herb.

So anyway. The name alone is stupid enough but people still purchase it. I guess when you are looking for a discount high you will do whatever it takes. Ohhh fake weed...yeah man! Good thing I don't smoke anything anymore. I have more important things to spend my money on. Like chips and soda.

Here are some testimonials from cheap pot heads who can't afford the real stuff.

"the ultra wizard smoke ... waz great it gave me great high qaulity like it said" jason (Nice misspelling...he really must have been high.)

"i got some black widow and it is GOOD." Todd (Ohhh...Black Widow, I guess it creeps up on you just like a spider right?)

"hey guys,
thanks for the prompt shipment. got some krypto. what is this stuff????? it works for me. wow." Mike (Dear Mike, would you still smoke it if I told you it was horse poo?)

"It was last Friday night and I just got a 1/2 oz of Krypto and Black "O" the day before....Me and my friends got ******* ****, we were blasting Pink Floyed & Bob Marley...An off-duty security dude pulled up at 1:15 and was partying with us, txxx stix and Dro. Txxx Stix was so sweet, very nice and if you buy anything get this." Jax (Hey Jax, Mr. Weed Alternative guy. You spelled Pink Floyd wrong! Some wannabe pothead you are. So I think the company labels it as a tobacco alternative. It is also legal. Answer me this. If it's a substitute for tobacco why are people playing Bob Marley and Pink Floyd? You don't blast that type of music at 1 in the morning if you are only smoking cigs.)

What's the point of all of this? Nothing. I just wanted to make fun of young mans quest for magic plant and magic plants alternative.

Something less fruit.

I'm tired of looking at fruity dark polka dots. More fun to come soon.

Here.

So I had the idea of creating a slideshow with windows movie maker. You can post things on the web using it, or so it says. Well I didn't like the options I was given with that program so I switched to what all the cool people use for their myspace profiles. These are only a handful of pictures form California. I had a lot of fun although at the time I was slightly irritated with driving in an unknown city. Looking back though, I really had a good time and wish I would have absorbed it more at that moment. I did a lot of things that I didn't show in this set of pictures. L.A. Zoo, horseback riding, Sea World. Maybe later I'll slap something else together. It is time consuming though and I'm really lazy. The same slideshow is on my Myspace profile.


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A Brief Intro.

I'm back from my ten day vacation to Los Angeles. It was a fairly good trip. I had not been on a week plus long vacation since 1998. That just so happens to be the last time I was in California as well. A sense of sadness and depression is now starting to set in. Not because I am no longer on vacation or because I have to go back to work. It's just one of those things I'm good at. Being away from home temporarily took away my routine of work, sleep, and sitting at home. Now that I'm back I can sink right back into my lonely world of nothingness. But you didn't come to hear about that now did you? You came to see how my trip was and what type of things I got to see and experience. Here you go. Enjoy.

A Midwestern boys perspective on Southern California.
This is the first picture I took outside. It may not look very impressive but that is because it isn't in the heart of insanity. This is in Burbank. Burbank is about 15 to 20 minutes away from Hollywood. It is located in what is called "the valley." As far as I can tell the valley is just a big area with a lot of shops, businesses, homes and a lot less traffic than Hollywood. That's about the only real difference than Hollywood. Less traffic. Which is a really good thing since driving in the heart of the city is really stressful. Warner Brothers studios are right down the street. So is NBC, Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon and other things that I have no clue about. I didn't get any pictures of those spots although I should have for anyone curious in seeing them. I have those pictures stored in my head so if you want to see them I guess you'll have to create a machine that can suck images from peoples minds....or you could just go there yourself. So here is how I got to Burbank. Once I got off the plane at LAX I met up with a shuttle driver who picked up 2 other people along the way and we shot off into the insane traffic. The driver was a nationality that I don't really know. He seemed cool but he drove a little crazy. A lot of people out there drive crazy so you basically have to drive crazy too. An hour or two later I was dropped off here at Burbank. This is where my uncles girlfriend Britta lives. I was to wait here until my uncle got off of work, hang out for a while and then go to the house in West Hollywood where I would be staying. The pictures are outside of Brittas apartment. There is a pool right below but I didn't get it in the frame. I was more interested in the trees and sky. Due to the large amount of things I have to talk about and the annoying fit this blog is giving me with layout of pictures I'm gonna have to continue this later. Not much of an intro but I have plenty of pictures and stories to talk about later. I will be doing multiple blogs because I can't sit here for 10 hours straight and talk about all sorts of stuff. Look for one each day or so. I guess I'll leave you with a picture of a stuffed Charles Manson doll that belongs to Britta.

Gooooo Bye Bye. Yayayayayaya!

I am leaving for vacation today.
Word.

Zoo Pictures

Here are a few pictures I took while at the St. Louis Zoo yesterday. The first picture is the best of the bunch. I took many more pictures but didn't think they were all that great so I only posted a handful. I did get a picture of these weird, fat, half turkey, half pidgeon looking things. They were messing with a stork. So the stork busted out some ninja moves and chased the turkidgeons away. It is the last photo in the group. Some were up on the rock making noise while others were down on the ground running around driving the stork insane. Eventually the stork gave up.